Dependency on God
We looked on Sunday at the 'Gospel and Parenting.' I said there are no perfect children because there are no perfect parents. Neither are there formulas for life because we are all so different. But the gospel remains relevant for all of life and informs all of life.
A story from Philip Yancey illustrates this point. Yancey asked a friend what the one quality was that Alcoholics Anonymous provided outside of the local church and he replied initially with one word: "dependency." The friend explained it like this: "None of us can make it on our own - isn't that why Jesus came? Yet most people give off a self-satisfied air of piety or superiority. I don't sense them consciously leaning on God or on each other. An alcoholic who goes to church feels inferior or incomplete. It's a funny thing. What I hate most about myself, my alcoholism, was the one thing God used me to bring back to him. Because of it, I know I can't survive without God. I have to depend on him to make it through each and every day. Maybe that's the redeeming value of alcoholism. Maybe God is teaching us alcoholics to teach the saints what it means to be dependent on him and on his community on earth."
Can you see the similarities with the gospel being not only an entry point for salvation but for all of life?
God’s heart on discipline
There is a vast difference between 'punishment' and 'discipline.' Reflect on what the differences are for a while. “The word punishment shares the root “pun” with words like punitive and penalty. Punitive, penalty and punishment all have to do with a set of laws and what happens when they are broken. Punishment is retributive. It means getting exactly what is deserved for an offense committed. This is why God never punishes us as Christ-followers:
“God as Father never looks at us as guilty, only as beloved children who are being foolish or wayward or even rebellious and insolent. Our sin grieves him, but it does not provoke vengeance.”
Discipline is always done out of love, seeks the best for the other person and takes the long haul into account. Discipline proves our sonship [see Hebrews 12].
Discipline: the root of the word means to “train, teach or instruct.” ‘Discipline’ originates from the word ‘disciple.’ “Punishment is easier than discipline. We are wired for justice. Our short tempers fuel our inner judge. Discipline requires patience, wisdom, and love. The next time an offense is committed in your home, remember how your Father treats you when you sin. Address it head on, but seek the heart. Seek relationship. Remember that you have been entrusted with the care-giving of a shepherd, not the gavel of a judge” (Sara Wallace). One of the lasting impressions left on Gaby’s mind was her father’s quickness to apologize and ask for forgiveness when he was in the wrong. "...remember how your (heavenly) Father treats you when you sin..." Reflect on how this understanding influences how we discipline our kids or treat one another.
There are two excerpts from two parenting books on our website which give an excellent idea of what 'Discipline is not' and 'What discipline looks like in practice'. To find out more, click here.