The Gospel and Parenting: Discipline
On Sunday, we looked at how the glorious Gospel of Jesus can influence and empower the way we parent. As was mentioned, treading the balance of leniency and discipline can be difficult, thus below you will find two excerpts from two articles which can help in understanding the role of discipline and what it would mean practically.
Another Look at Discipline
It’s helpful to look at what discipline is not. Discipline is not:
a list of creative punishments
a response to being inconvenienced
an outlet for frustration
embarrassment insurance for when your kids are in front of your friends
Discipline is not something we do to our kids, but something we do for them. It is a lifestyle. It doesn’t need its own category; it’s woven all throughout family life. But it doesn’t happen by accident.
(Excerpt from page 19 of ‘For the Love of Discipline’ by Sara Wallace)
https://www.amazon.com/Love-Discipline-Gospel-Tantrums-Time-Outs/dp/1629953571
What is discipline?
Discipline involves the following:
Helping children learn how to get along with family, friends, and society. A family is the child’s first society. It’s where he learns how to act and behave out in the world.
Teaching children to behave in an agreeable way in accordance with the laws of the land. The first law of the land is in your home, the second is in the school and the community, and the third, which they learn as young adults, is the country in which we live.
Encouraging children to learn self-control so that the child wants to do what is right because of how she feels under her skin and inside her body, not just to avoid getting caught.
Empathizing with your child.
Loving your child unconditionally
Instead of asking if you are too lenient, too strict, or too inconsistent, ask yourself these questions:
Am I helping my child get along?
Am I teaching my child what I expect and how to behave in different situations?
Am I encouraging my child to be all he can be, to use the talents and skills God has given him?
Do I have empathy for my child in all situations? Do I try to understand where my child is coming from and what happened to cause her to act like this?
Do I love my child unconditionally as the Savior loves me?
Am I fair to my child?
When my fifteen-year-old great-nephew came to live with me, my daughter had already joined the military. She sent him a note that said, “My mom is tough but she is fair. She only wants what’s best for you.” Kids know if you are fair to them. Being fair doesn’t mean you treat each child the same way. Each child needs to be dealt with individually. Being fair means you take into consideration all of the issues surrounding a particular incident.
(Excerpt from pages 56-57 of ‘The Single Parent’, by Linda Ranson Jacobs)